It's amazing to me how something as simple as cleaning out a closet can cause me to crumple in a
heap on the floor, tears streaming down my face, heart crushed . I picked up a new sweater I bought for my husband several months ago ( which he never wore). It served as a reminder to me of the change in this man who seems to have lost his will to live. He used to really care about the way he dressed. As a matter of fact he was always very nicely dressed. Not overdone. But he took care in his appearance. He was attractive to me when I met him, not just because of his good looks but because he wasn't your typical guy who expects their women to take care of themselves and look nice for the man, but who puts no effort into doing the same for the woman. Of course the physical wasn't the only thing that attracted me , his sense of responsiblity and his work ethic was also very attractive to me. I knew that this man would be a steadfast provider for his family. But seeing that sweater, reminded me of the years in our marriage when things began to go downhill. When we had children and he felt like the children became the center of my life, (which is true) , and I felt like he didn't care about anything except getting his needs met...So many marriages struggle during this time I 'm sure of it. But it was the beginning of God getting a hold of my heart. Not matter how much I tried to tell my husband that I didn't feel valued as a mom and a keeper of the home, I kept hitting a brick wall. He couldn't hear me because his needs weren't being met. I stopped keeping myself up and was looking quite frumpy many days when he came home form work. It was a viscious circle and both of us were drowning. Our life as a married couple was steadily going down the drain.
And yet when I saw that sweater and thought about how he just doesn't seem to care anymore I couldn't help but take some responsibility for the breakdown in our marriage. I did so much damage by the cruel and mean things I said in my hurt during those dark days. My tongue was completely unrestrained at that time. For 17 years now God has been renewing my mind and as a result my actions .... and He is redeeming the ashes of our married life. Until I see my husband saved I will always live with such regret because I see my sin has affected him.... The very thing I desire so much (for His eyes to be opened to the love of our great God and Savior) and for him to come to salvation, has been hindered by the seeds that were planted early on in our marriage. But the word says that the unbeliever is sanctified (growing in holiness) by the believer. So even though the work is hindered by the sins of our past, where sin abounds grace much more abounds and God will complete the good work he began in our marriage. COMPLETE-means complete! So I take it before the Lord once again and lay it downbefore the only one who can possibly complete the work. He started it and He must finish it . He is the only one who can take the broken pieces of our lives and put them back together , but when He does , they will never be shattered again because when God puts a life back together it is held together with something more powerful than any glue or cement man could create. It is held together by the blood of Jesus Christ shed for us. Looking forward to the day when ALL things will be made new. ( One of them being my husband!) But for now I trust in the one who gave His life for me .It will be redeemed. Praise God and Hallelujah!
- WE HAVE THIS TREASURE IN EARTHEN VESSELS THAT THE EXCELLENCY OF THE POWER MAY BE OF GOD. I am the wife Of Don and mother of two boys and a stay at home mom. My goal is to follow Jesus in all aspects of life but starting first and foremost in my own home.Titus 2:3-5 I stumble often and get discouraged, but am amazed as I go to my Lord in faith that he looks upon me with compassion, forgiveness and love each and every time. His love for me seems to increase as I keep going back to His throne of grace!! Of course I know His love never changes, but my ability to see His love increases each time He picks me up, dusts me off and says "keep on going Ruth.... I love you!" And because of His great love, I am falling more and more in love with Him each and every day.