Apr 8, 2013

A Tree of Life

I wrote this two years ago , but I believe it is worth repeating.   As firmly as I believe in the power of prayer,I believe that God is working out a plan that is far bigger than my request.  He is concerned with making me holy more than making me happy- because holiness brings joy independant of circumstances- that can withstand lifes storms and that kind of joy becomes a beacon of light for a lost and dying world.  I believe as well in the sovereignty and timing of God.  He makes all things beautiful in His time!  Those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings as eagles they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. With that said I will share what I wrote two years ago when I lay the dream God had placed on my heart at the alter and entrusted it back to Him.
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick, but when desire comes it is a tree of life. Prov. 13:12
This verse has always troubled me. the reason being that I couldn’t find any hope in the verse. I just didn’t get it. I thought well can I help it if my heart is sick from my hope being deferred? I would
change it if I could! It frustrated me. I realize now why–it’s because hope improperly placed will ALWAYS disappoint. But when desire for God and HIM ALONE comes, we will NEVER be disappointed. I believe we are to hope in God’s promises, but when the promise becomes the focus, rather than God, then there’s a problem!

I shift back and forth between waiting on God and waiting on my husbands salvation. When I focus on him getting saved , my strength falters. But when I focus on God and God alone, my strength is renewed because it ISN’T MY STRENGTH, it’s HIS!
I do believe that God spoke to me concerning his salvation years ago. (that he would be saved) , but one thing he didn’t tell me was when! Lastnight as the realization of this hit me , I realized that I may be dead and gone before my husband ever recieves salvation. I may never live to see it. Hebrews 11:13″ These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.”
I really don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that my focus needs to shift COMPLETELY to God and I need to release my grip on this hope. If I really believe God will do it, do I really need to grip it so tightly?
I need to trust God enough- to lay it down.
I need to wait on God and Him alone! And by His grace I plan to do just that. I now see my laying my husband down - not as giving up on the dream, but entrusting the hows and whens to God . If I never get to see the joy on my kids faces as they see their dad come to Christ, so be it - GOD IS ON THE THRONE, If I never see the fruit of that seed of hope planted in my heart years ago for my husband to be saved, so be it. It doesn’t mean it won’t happen, but I may never live to see it. GOD IS ON THE THRONE and His plan is perfect. I don’t need to know how His plan is going to play out, but I DO NEED TO KNOW the author of the plan better tomorrow than I do today. I need to wait on Him and His strength. And in so doing glorify Him.
For we have this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency of the power may be of God and NOT US!
I say these things after much weeping and tears. This is a dream God has placed in my heart and He has given me a love for my husband that is unconditional in the face of some great hurdles……..so is this one who has done these things not trustworthy if I hand over my dream to Him to do with what He sees fit? Lastnight I let go of that dream and let God take it from me. I want Jesus to be the one and only dream of my heart. I now realize that holding on so tightly to it , was causing it to COME BETWEEN me and my Savior.
An old hymn says it all:

The tree of life my soul has seen
Laden with fruit and always green;
The trees of nature fruitless be
Compared with Christ the apple tree

For happiness I long have sought
And pleasure dearly have I brought;
I missed of all but now I see
'Tis found in Christ the apple tree

I'm weary with my former toil
Here I will sit and rest awhile;
Under the shadow will I be
Of Jesus Christ the apple tree.

This fruit doth make my soul to thrive
It keeps my dying faith alive;
Which makes my soul in haste to be
With Jesus Christ, the apple tree.

Will you waive the white flag of surrender to God and come home?  Adam and Eve were banished from the garden when they ate the forbidden fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil....And since then we've all been banished and are trying to find our way home.It is fruitless to try to find your way. He IS THE WAY!.  Eve thought that God was holding out on her....And she took of the forbidden fruit and ate. Since then all of mankind is under the delusion that peace comes through knowledge.  God is working with those of us who belong to Him to reverse that .  He wants us to come to the knowledge of the truth!  He is our peace.  He is the truth.  Our peace comes in utter trust and abandon.  It is not in demanding answers , it is not in circumstances . it is not in our children being saved , our spouse being saved, it is not even in answered prayer.  Our peace is in one thing . Jesus Christ.  He is our Sabboth rest. Please watch this video and I pray you will come home to the place of oneness with Christ. A place where all strivings cease. Where you can cast your burdens upon Him and leave them there and come back tomorrow and do the same and the next day and the next day .  Your peace is found in HIM and Him alone. Come sit under the shade of the Apple Tree!



  1. Ruth! thank you for commenting on my blog. I am excited to explore yours as well. I am already encouraged as a read words of truth and beauty about the satisfaction our souls find in God alone. Thank you!

  2. Abigial , You're welcome and thankyou for the encouragement as well. LOVE your name -(two of my favorite women in the bible).


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WE HAVE THIS TREASURE IN EARTHEN VESSELS THAT THE EXCELLENCY OF THE POWER MAY BE OF GOD. I am the wife Of Don and mother of two boys and a stay at home mom. My goal is to follow Jesus in all aspects of life but starting first and foremost in my own home.Titus 2:3-5 I stumble often and get discouraged, but am amazed as I go to my Lord in faith that he looks upon me with compassion, forgiveness and love each and every time. His love for me seems to increase as I keep going back to His throne of grace!! Of course I know His love never changes, but my ability to see His love increases each time He picks me up, dusts me off and says "keep on going Ruth.... I love you!" And because of His great love, I am falling more and more in love with Him each and every day.