share . One such time happened a couple weeks ago . A friend invited me to go with her to her fellowship's harvest dinner at a wonderful church body nearby . I was SO blessed. After the dinner the Pastor shared a message on Thanksgiving and the importance of it in the life of EVERY believer. He taught on the gospel story of the ten lepers. I was so amazed as I revisited the account of the ten lepers with this relatively small church body and at the end of the message , he invited anyone to share a story of the faithfulness of God and what they were thankful for.
What was overwhelmingly bubbling up inside of me that I am thankful for is, the miracle God is working in my heart. I was compelled to share how the Lord has changed my heart towards my husband who is an unbeliever.
When I first became enflamed with the love of God it was wonderful to receive His mercy and grace, but giving it out was a lot harder. Especially to my husband. It is always harder to give out freely to those closest to you that you've been hurt by. And when I was born again, my husband didn't know what to make of this new creature living under his roof. He was afraid and resentful because I was a different person. He didn't marry this new creature, he married the old Ruth. And I didn't like the situation either! It's no fun being unequally yoked. All of a sudden a sword came into our home dividing us. And we weren't the best of friends to begin with. I couldn't escape daily warfare. For me leaving my marriage was not an option but staying was a daily struggle. I determined early on that my goal would be to "die daily" for the sake of the gospel . And a slow grueling death it was. Because each day I was faced with the choice to either obey the truths that I was being convicted by-in the word or grieve the spirit of God and suffer the consequences. This new found love that was growing in my heart was so wonderful I couldn't get enough of it and I wanted MORE of Jesus! He literally became my husband. All that I had wanted in a husband but didn't get (the fairy tale) , Jesus became .....like a Knight in shining armor! He rescued me, but He didn't rescue me FROM the truth... He rescued me through the truth. Instead of rescuing me from the enemy , He walked me through enemy territory. I had to face some hard truths about who I was and the wrongs I had done against God by my rebellion toward my husband who I now knew I was ONE flesh with. Every wrong I had done to him, I had done to myself. A house divided against itself cannot stand the word says. Anything that has two heads is a freak and anything that has no head is dead as Adrian Rogers once said. The Lord spoke to me from Proverbs that a wise woman builds her house but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands! And he assured me that I was to submit to my husband as unto the Lord. I was cut to the core by that truth. I HAD BEEN the foolish woman. But I determined to change direction and trust the Lord to walk me through the enemies territory. The Lord assured me that I would make it through, since He had already won the victory at the cross, and that He would hold my hand every step of the way. I bumbled and stumbled much , fell down completely many times, and cried a lot , but each and every time the Lord picked me up and dusted me off and told me to keep on going. He was so consistent and faithful in His love and tenderness towards me as continuously beat myself up over my failures. I knew what I ought to be because Gods word showed me what I ought to be, and yet I was so AWARE that I fell painfully short . " I would have fainted had I not believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" as the word says. And there most definitely were MANY times I doubted I would ever see His goodness break through enough to see my husband born again. But when we are faithless still He is faithful. I kept on praying and running to the fountain of Living Water and seeking to obey each word quickened to my heart by His Spirit. And I saw my soul being converted before my very eyes. "Every word of God is pure to the conversion of the soul "
That day at the harvest dinner I stood up and shared that I am so thankful that although I hated the situation I found myself in when I woke up in the land of the Living (born again) , I now am SO THANKFUL as I am seeing my soul converted before my own eyes . My husband is still not a born again believer but I love my husband more today than the day I married him. But that's because the love I had for him then wasn't really love. It was selfishness. I wanted him to make ME happy. The only intentions I really had to make him happy were ONLY IF HE MADE ME HAPPY; But the Lord has changed my heart. It's not a starry eyed , fairy tale love, but it is enduring love. It IS a never will I leave you nor forsake you love. It's the very love of God which has compelled me to love the unlovable. And we were ALL unlovable before agape love made His home in our hearts! Praise God for Emmanuel "God with us"! But even greater than that, praise God for Christ IN US, the hope of glory. Lord I humbly ask that you continue to work greater and greater miracles in my heart by your grace ,and for your glory!Listen below;
Robin Mark -Miracle In My Heart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um0pQTFTWnw
No comments:
Post a Comment