I've come to the conclusion that pain is a gift. In our physical bodies
Jesus said I have not come for the well but for the sick. And how are we to know of our need for the Balm of Gilead if we have no pain? The pain in my life wether it be emotional , spiritual, or physical sends a signal to my soul that I must come close to the heart of the Savior and allow His scalpel (the word of God ) to cut into my heart . The word pierce's to the division of soul and spirit and joint's and marrow and discerns for me the thoughts and intentions of my heart which in turn opens my heart up to the word -which is medicine to my soul. If it were not for the pain of empty dreams I would never have found the remedy. And it's in my brokenness that I become aware of the need for a shepherd to bind up my wounds.
I wouldn't trade the pain in my life for anything because the intimacy I share with the Savior is more precious that anything this world has to offer. It's more valuable than gold or diamonds or any other thing I esteem in this life. To know Him intimately and to be able to feel His breath near me-to have Him whisper to me that I'm beautiful, and tell me He loves me in a thousand different ways is priceless. And not only that , but that HE WANTS ME , And to KNOW that I needn't fear falling into sin because I have fallen SO IN LOVE with Him! I no longer am drawn away by the things the world offers to me. I have the most beautiful lover, protector, and knight in shining armor RIGHT beside me devoted to my every need. His love consumes me , and offers me HIS strength and the warmth of His protection. When I am close enough to hear His heart beat -His Spirit overtakes me in waves of rapturous delight. Only when I turn away from Him does that pleasure drain away. In His presence is fullness of joy and His right hand are pleasures forevermore.
There is no man on this earth including the man I am one flesh with that can possibly offer me this kind of love. But CHRIST, my heavenly husband loves me fiercely. So fiercely that if I wander way from Him where harm can come to me , He does the HARD thing and the best thing for me. He wounds so that I will learn to stay close.....but He also heals. I wouldn't trade one moment of chastisement from Him for a literal husband that "worships the ground that I walk on" . Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.
This morning I thanked the Lord for the pain in my life with the utmost sincerity . I cannot imagine where I would be and the fear that would consume my heart without Him near me in this cold dark world. Had it not been for the pain that drew me to Him and continuously draws me back..... I would have no hope of spiritual wholeness . I have resolved the question in my own heart that Jesus asked the paraplegic ... Do you want to be made whole? I DO !-and the only way I am whole is when He fills my brokenness with His love. All the cracks and crevices that have been such a deep aching abyss in me for so many years have been filled up with His love. I must continuously be filled up with His love because I am SO enamored with Him that nothing the world offers me can draw my heart away from Him . The Living Water of His Holy Spirit has become a well springing up in me continuously and overflowing . And I wouldn't trade the peace and refreshment of that well for anything.